Poetry night - August 2013

The most recent night of Culture, Real Ale & Poetry was held on 2nd August at the "Old Cottage Tavern", Burton on Trent. Great turnout enjoyed a brilliant evening of funny poems and limericks. Several great poets travelled far to entertain us. Star of show was Ian from Birmingham. The next one will be expected in December 2013. Hope to see you there. Posted by Adrian

Poetry Night - March 2011

The most recent night of Culture, Real Ale & Poetry was held on Friday 25th March at the "Old Cottage Tavern", Burton on Trent. There was a capacity crowd of about 70 people who enjoyed a brilliant evening of funny poems and limericks. The next one will be in July/August. Hope to see you there.

Christmas 2010 Poetry Night

Yes I realise some of you may be planning to go to your "Work's Christmas Do", but if you prefer to do something more enjoyable (and cheaper!) than wearing a cerise paper hat while sitting opposite dull work mates then put this date immediately in your diary.
Pleased to announce the long-awaited next Burton Pub Poetry event will take place on Friday 10th December 2010. Old Cottage Tavern (Byrkley Street, behind Town Hall). Starts 7.30pm.
Usual format. Please bring along your favourite light-hearted poems, monologues or limericks to share. Original or borrowed equally welcome. Do invite any interested friends.

National Brewery Centre poetry night

The latest night of "Culture Real Ale & Poetry" was held at the newly reopened National Brewery Centre, "Brewery Tap" on Wednesday 14th July 2010.
We were made very welcome at this lovely venue and about 35 people turned up midweek for a great night of funny poetry and entertainment. We had a good selection of real ales on tap and some people sampled the great chip butties. Thanks especially to the people who trekked over from Nottingham midweek. Looking forward to the next pub poetry night in December.

Poetry Night January 2010

Thanks to everyone who supported the most recent poetry night (January 2010). It was a record breaking attendance with over 60 folk packed into the function room at the Old Cottage Tavern. We had a brilliant selection of poems and monologues ranging from the traditional (Stanley Holloway) to the surreal and then a bit of JCC (thanks Tim!) We are looking forward to the next event in the summer.

Also thanks to all who supported our special poetry night in Nottingham. It was very well received and Pirate Nick and his pals will be organising regular Pub poetry nights at the Canal House on the second Monday of the month throughout 2010.

Special Pub Poetry night in Nottingham

The Nottingham Comedy Festival takes place in November 2009. We have been invited to present our usual night of light- hearted and comedy pub poetry on Wednesday 4th November at the Canalhouse pub. 48-52 Canal Street, Nottingham. NG1 7EH. (Next door to Fellows, Morton & Clayton pub near Railway station.) Starts 8pm. I hope some of our regular supporters can come over for a one-off special event.

Summer Poetry Night July 2009

The next night of Culture, Real Ale & Poetry will be on Friday 3rd July 2009 at the Old Cottage Tavern, Byrkley Street. Burton-on-Trent. DE14 2EG. (Behind Burton Town Hall). Usual format. Starts at 8pm. Please encourage any friends with an interest to come along. Bring your favourite pieces of light-hearted poetry or monologues to share. We anticipate the usual high standard of highbrow yarns and sophisticated rhyming ribaldry (or perhaps not ). I hope the usual suspects will come along, together with some new faces.

Summer Poetry night

There was an excellent turnout at the summer poetry night. Over 40 keen pub poets came to share poems and monologues rather than stay in their holiday villas. The Limerick competition had an Olympic games theme.

Poetry night - Feb 2008

A night of Culture, Real Ale & Poetry was on Thursday 28th February 08 at the Old Cottage Tavern, behind Burton Town Hall. Great turnout. Look forward to next event.

Poetry Night September 2007

Another excellent turnout for the latest night of Pub Poetry in Burton. A mixture of original and adapted light hearted poems were presented. Highlights included more tales of pirate adventure from Captain Pigheart and a moan about the modernisation of the Bass museum bar from Tim. The limerick competition was keenly contested and won by Jez. Winning entries will be published here soon. Look out for details of next night of "Culture Real Ale & Poetry" expected in January 2008.

September Poetry Night

The most recent evening of Burton Pub Poetry was on Friday 7th September at the Old Cottage Tavern, behind Burton Town Hall.
Look out for future events. Bring along your favourite light-hearted poems and monologues or just listen and enjoy!

"Twinkle Twinkle..." competition poems

Twinkle Twinkle, Uncle Fred
drank too much, the neighbours said.
one night, his drinking binge complete,
he fell face forwards in the street!
Twinkle twinkle, Uncle Fred,
wonders why his nose is red.

- The Poet formerly known as Tim

Twinkle Twinkle in my mind

There is a secret you will find.

Orange, yellow, blue and green

want to know where it has been?

Pink and blue

don't think it's true

Only red "knows"

-Jezza

Twinkle Twinkle "me little duck"

Your Red nose I'd like to suck.

On second thoughts, it's not your nose

I think I'd rather suck your toes!

-"Table by the door"

Old Cottage Poetry Night

The most recent Pub poetry night was at the Old Cottage Tavern in Burton. There was an excellent turnout of Poets and supporters. Some of the winning original poems will be published here soon.

The next evening of "Culture, Real Ale & Poetry" will hopefully be in the late summer. Check this site nearer the time for details.

Limerick challenge entries - November 2006

There was an old man who drank beer
who fancied himself as King Lear.
One night at the Bard
he was feeling quite hard,
and was caught out shaking his spear.
.....................................................................Sue.

There was an old man who drank beer
and it made him feel awfully queer.
He minced to the loo
with his hair dyed blue,
and everyone ran out in fear.
................................................................Bill Bitter

There was an old man who drank beer
offered water he'd tell you "No fear!"
A good Pedigree
keeps my bowels quite free,
several has me just short of Diarrhoea.
.....................................................................Gadget

There was an old man whio drank beer
till he fell off tyyhe end of a pier.
He yelled " Get me out!"
but was left up the spout
as a shark ate him up with a sneer.
..................................................................Marilyn

There was an old man who drank beer
who all of a sudden felt fear.
He popped into the Whistle,
but swallowed some gristle
and woke up next morning all queer!
..................................................................The 3 Stooges

There was an old man who drank beer
At girls in the pub he would leer.
"Have a drink with me,
a coffee or tea.
You won't regret it my dear!"
..............................................................Tom

There was an old man who drank beer
which made him feel terribly queer.
He fell on his face,
and rolled in disgrace
just as soon as his wife did appear.
...............................................................Maureen

"The only Poet in the Village"

By Butch Tim - "The Rock"

Now in this town of Burton, located on the river Trent,
a cultural tradition was, where once or twice perhaps a year
poetic evenings would take place. Some people to an old pub went
to share their love of poetry, and drink some dodgy-tasting beer.
These lovers of fine poetry, one and all they came
invited by a man from Hilton, Adrian by name.

Unfortunately for these folk, their future was uncertain;
the Thomas Sykes, their meeting place, was doomed to be demolished.
Progress and development confronting art in Burton.
Disaster stared them in the face," poetry night" could be abolished!
They argued with the council, they even wrote to Tony Blair,
but all they did to no avail; life was cruel and unfair.

But Adrian, the hero, iconic champion of his art
refused to be discouraged, refused to countenance defeat.
He felt a sense of destiny stirring up within his heart.
Poetry nights would rise again: how dare they make them obsolete!
Unaccustomed as he was to either pubs or beer,
He'd search to find a place to meet in southern Staffordshire!

He tried to get some lottery funds, but sad to say they turned him down.
Still, undeterred, one evening, he set out on his pilgrimage.
He went in pubs and inns and bars, sampling beers throughout the town.
His T-shirt said across the front - "the only poet in the village".
But nowhere was appropriate for Wordsworth to be read;
The pubs all seemed to cater now for tattooed chavs instead

Alas, throughout that fateful night, in all the pubs in which he went,
No matter where he asked, there were, no answers to his question.
Devoted to his noble quest, he gave it one hundred percent
(perhaps though overdoing it, a touch, on ale ingestion).
He tried to share his poets heart, but none were interested
They threw him out or called the police; he nearly got arrested.

Eventually he found himself, emotional and feeling tired,
(perhaps more accurate to say, as tired and emotional as a newt);
exhausted and despondent at not finding all that he desired
he just fell down in Wetmore Road, his desperation absolute.
Yet from the gutter saw a sign! "Poetry is welcomed here:
And while you're reading poetry, why not try our famous beer!"

So here we are, the Wetmore Whistle, cultural centre of the town.
His noble work was not in vain. A feast of poems on the menu,
some poetry-enhancing ale that everyone is drinking down;
we've had a cracking time tonight in this the new artistic venue!
So Adrian, thank you, once again, exceeding expectation,
For organising this event of literary delectation!

Wetmore Whistle - Burton

There was a young lass from "the Whistle"
Whose knickers got all in a twizzle.
When doing a dance,
with a high-kicking prance,
you could see all the fluff on 'er thistle.

There was a young lass from "the Whistle"
made soup from lumps of old gristle.
When I dared to complain,
she snarled with disdain,
Raised finger and told me to twizzle!